The Reality of It

In my co-teaching science class, I am sitting with two students, D and J, playing Dots.

FF: "D, where are your parents from?"

D: "My mom is from the Dominican Republic and my dad is black."

FF: "Well, where is your dad from?"

D: "I don't know. I don't know my dad."

J: "Where'd he go?"

D: "My dad left me when I was a kid."

J: "Oh, me too. Man! I hate when that happens!"

I laughed, but upon reflection quickly after the conversation, I felt really sad for my kids. The fact that not having a father be present in your life is so common is pretty terrible. I think, often, that if my kids had two parents that their lives might be better. Because being a parent is hard work and probably, overwhelming at times, when you do it alone.

I also realized that for most of this year, I have not been annoyed or upset with my students. Less than 10 times, probably. My rationale was always that it is never the child's fault. They are children. They can't help their circumstances. Their upbringing. I spent most of this year feeling sorry for my kids. About a month ago, I began to rethink these feelings. Yes, their circumstances suck at times. But is it all that defines them? Half of life is what is given to you, but the other half, is what you do with what you are given. Some kids at school have horrible circumstances, but are working towards honor roll every quarter so they can get out of those circumstances. Some kids use it as a crutch. One of my kids has begun to state regularly, "but it's not [their/my] fault that [their/my] parents raised me poorly..."

Side note: he's hilarious and smart, so I can't take him seriously. But I appreciate that he understands the effects nurture has on a person's life.

I wish I had more time to talk to my kids about this kind of stuff. Next year I want to do weekly or biweekly conferences with all my students. (Very excited for year two. It's going to be much more eye-opening what kind of teacher I am, now that I have experience.)


"Maybe a pipe will burst outside the school and the whole first floor will flood! Fingers crossed!"